Some mornings I wake up and ask myself why the green grass grows across the meadow. But if I look outside my house, all that’s there is the same old dry dirt that was there before.
And some nights as I lay awake and the darkness descends, I look up and wonder why the moon shines so bright in the sky when there are times in my life when the darkness never seems to end.
Days and nights like that come and go and still I don’t know. Though I ask over and over again for some insight into the struggle that I find myself in.
There was a time when I thought there was nothing that could comfort me. My soul was lost, my body bound, and my mind was running loose. And I had not the feeling of stability.
And now I stand my ground. Though sometimes I feel there’s no hope around. I know from you that there are things that I possess that make me worthy of more than I had or would settle for.
So I thank you for the window that you looked through. That showed you my sorrow and pain.
And I’m grateful that you did not turn away; but choose to stay and open the door to let the fresh air in.
Sometimes I look at an ant crawling on the ground not a clue that soon someone will come along and it’ll be gone because they didn’t see it there or just didn’t care.
And sometimes I think as the rain falls…will the storm inside of me ever cease. Why does the thunder roar inside my heart louder than the thunder outside my door?
Is it all in my imagination, or is it a harsh reality of things not meant to be that continuously plague me?
The wind blowing slow and hard always reminds me of relationships. The wind always bringing something from somewhere else and relationships how they come and go leaving good and bad memories.
And the traffic I sit through to get to places I don’t really want to be, makes me realize that life resembles the highway…going on and on and eventually ending who knows where.
So I thank you for the exit you provide from time to time. Though only a temporary reprieve from the continuous journey I seem to be on, you signify a resting stop.
And I thank you for your encouragement and motivation. Fueling my mind and body when I’ve run out of stamina. Filling the emptiness with your presence.
So I thank you again for being my friend and trying to be there for me. Because you were the one who figured it out. There’s so much more than what they believe are the things that are bothering me.
